This is the earliest tale of when my vagina got in the way of fulfilling my dreams.
I started learning guitar when I was 9 after my parents told me that perhaps violin (my chosen instrument to learn) was going to be too hard. In retrospect, I think they were just angling for me to do something that was cool.
My Dad had always wanted to learn guitar, and fair enough; he wanted to live vicariously through me. Just as I will pass my own regrets on to my children, and so is the circle of life.
I was a natural at guitar; I picked it up almost immediately and was well on my way to super stardom at age 9.
By the time I started high school; I was done with lessons. I saw no need for them anymore because I could just figure everything out myself. I was a fucking guitar GODDESS.
After showing my parents that I “took guitar seriously” (had to be playing for more than 5 years), they bought me my first electric guitar at age 14. It was a 3rd-hand Mexican Fender Stratocaster. It was cool as fuck, I felt cool as fuck.
It was at this point that I decided guitar lessons would be good again. I’d worked out bar chords and power chords ALL ON MY OWN (so proud), but I wanted to get in to some more technical stuff and learn proper technique for said technical stuff.
My new tutor saw that I had pretty decent chops and immediately moved me up in to the top group-lesson for my age group with two other guys that were in my music class.
These guys weren’t impressed. What on EARTH was I doing in their class? She’s not as good as us!
I actually dreaded going to guitar lessons because of the weird exclusive attitude. I decided against learning much more about being a lead guitarist, I wanted to do rhythm guitar while singing simultaneously and absolutely had to join a band, so I dropped out of the lessons.
It just so happened these guys were in a band with 2 other guys (a bassist and a drummer) in our music class. Perfect opportunity! I could jam with them, girl guitarists in rock bands are cool as, right?
Both of them were super “I can shred harder than you” – so they needed a rhythm guitarist!
Wrong. I was not allowed to join Amplitude (lol band name).
The vibe was that girls absolutely weren’t allowed. I was uncool and I would taint the bands street-cred.
Being in a band was a special club that I didn’t have the secret password to: a penis.
I was heartbroken, I felt there was no other opportunity for me to start a band in high school. At that point in time there were no other girls I knew of who I could start a vag-band with.
Guys; I NEVER GOT TO DO THE RITE OF PASSAGE THAT IS ROCKQUEST.
A year or so later, I decided being emo was totes cool, So I became a bit of a street rat and spent a lot of time in the city and at local AA gigs hanging out with other defunct youth just looking to fit in.
I met this older dude who had dropped out of high school and was studying music and playing guitar at a local music college.
One night he invited me along to “jam” (foreign words to me at the time) with a drummer he studied music with. The drummer was a lot older than us and his name was Dan.
The very Dan that I still do music with today. This was the start of Ashei, which – 10 years later – turned in to Decades.
Looking back now, I think Amplitude were just intimated by my vagina-fuelled greatness.
Amplitude could’ve had it all, but now they’re rolling in the deep.